Dating a single mother is not like traditional dating, and neither is it as easy. It is a delicate situation that requires much more patience and understanding. Given below are some tips for the same.
Having a fling with a single mom is not a good idea unless she is also looking for the same thing. Single mothers come with a lot of responsibilities, and are hence not very keen on general flings with random people. They expect a certain amount of stability and maturity in their lives when it comes to relationships, due to their past circumstances.
Do not go about trying to impress her by being unnatural in your approach. When you are hoping for the relationship to last for a longer duration, it is better not to be pretentious but portray yourself the way you are. You don't want the relationship to go sour in the future because of this. At the beginning of any relationship, every person has a tendency to hide the negative aspects of their personality as much as possible. However, be aware of this and try not to give a drastically wrong image of the person you actually are.
Instead of the stereotypical ideas like flowers or gifts, be innovative and creative in romancing her. Make personalized gifts for her keeping her interests in mind, check on her child once in a while, help the child out, drop in at her work place unexpectedly, or take them both out together once in a while. The beauty of romance lies in its promptness.
You will come across many situations of last-minute plan cancellations or changes. Try to be more flexible in such cases. Issues pertaining to work, or child-related emergencies are common reasons for alterations in pre-made plans. Try to understand these issues and be compassionate and understanding enough to change the plan or reschedule according to the lady's convenience. Single moms have different priorities as compared to other single women, and so, try to give that a higher preference.
Try to make an effort to befriend the child and get him/her to like you. Keep your behavior genuine, as kids can immediately detect an untrue demeanor. Try and spend time with the child, help out with school work, and take interest in his/her life to show your concern and intentions of taking the relationship one step ahead. There are chances of the child not liking you at first, but you should try to bring about a change in his or her emotions towards you by giving unconditional love and care. Children can quickly change their feelings towards others provided they are convinced about the genuineness of the other person. Don't try and manipulate them, but win them over with your love.
The 'Ex' Factor
The relationship between the woman and her ex-husband is not something that you should interfere in. You should be courteous enough to lend an ear to whatever she has to say or share about him, but don't give unnecessary advice unless asked and most importantly, do not enforce undue restrictions on her. Also, don't initiate any talks about him by yourself. Make her feel that you are comfortable talking about him and at the same time, not bothered about his presence in your lives.
When you are dating a single mother, it is crucial for both of you to decide early on, the eventuality of your relationship. If the woman is shy or does not want to talk about it, then it your responsibility to initiate the discussion about your feelings for each other and towards the relationship, and also its future. This is important for both of you, as she is understandably skeptical of another failed relationship, and it is necessary for you to know if she needs more time and assurance. Children also take time to get adjusted to the idea of having a new person in their lives. Hence, it is better to have this discussion at an early stage before things become serious, to avoid any complications.
In case she has asked for some more time to make her decision about the relationship, or if the children are still getting used to the idea of having you around, then you need to be patient. You cannot blame them given the circumstances they have been through. Respect this fact and give them as much time and assurance as they need. This will enhance the positive traits in your personality, which will work in your favor.
When dating a single mother, all you need to remember is that it is different from regular dating in some ways and not as easy either, but it is not very difficult. Certain aspects like the child's acceptance, respecting the woman's priorities in life, being yourself, and having patience, will help you. It will lead to a meaningful and special relationship if both of you are equally committed.