Although both the partners realize the problem, they shun away from recognizing it. This leads to mounting disputes which remain unsolved for a long time, causing the rift between the two to widen. Unresolved differences creates misunderstandings between partners, stretching the fabric of love, faith and trust till it hangs on the weakest thread.
Despite the ongoing problems, couples find it difficult to break away and move on with their lives. After all, a break up is an emotionally draining process and is hurtful for the one being taken off-guard.
Making Break Ups Painless
A relationship that's not working smoothly comes to an abrupt end. It is always a relationship which is reeling under pressures of misunderstandings that nears the end. If being together is causing constant unhappiness, fights, stress and depression, there is no point to hang in there.
After you've made efforts to salvage the relationship, it is time to recognize the root cause of all the problems and act on them immediately. First, accept the problems, analyze your mistakes, introspect to know where your partner went wrong and then point them out to your partner. After this, if the relationship continues to deteriorate, it is time to reason out the breakup, but first, in your mind.
If you are clear in your mind that you do not want to be with your partner anymore, start distancing yourself. Make small changes, by allowing yourself and your partner some time away from each other. This way, your partner will also get an idea and the emotional dependency on each other will also reduce.
Pursue your hobbies and interests, hang out more with your friends, spend more time with your family and give yourself some time out from the relationship. A painless break up is a result of deliberate effort of moving away from each other. Unless and until, you don't initiate the distance, the comfort zone of being together despite the issues will never be lost and both of you will be stuck in a limbo.
Instead of dropping a bomb shell, give your partner hints about the break up since the time you've decided to part ways. Initiating talks about relationships that fall apart or giving examples of couples who've got divorced, will help your partner to understand the resemblance and pattern of a breaking relationship and the relationship both of you share. A sudden news of break up can devastate your partner and make it stressful for everyone around you.
Before you tell your partner, you need to think for yourself, the reasons for breaking up. When a relationship hits a rough patch, we begin to see the negative aspects of our partners and start recognizing traits that cause incompatibility.
Thus, make a list of reasons and weigh them out in your head, before you tell your partner anything about the reason. You need to be extremely honest with yourself, while reasoning it out. Break up on the basis of a lie or without giving your partner the real reasons, will never give either one of you a justified closure.
Once you've tried salvaging your bond, recognized the problems, distanced yourself emotionally and physically and have reasoned the reasons for breaking up in your mind, it is time to deliver the final talk. Fix a meeting with your partner and make sure both of you have ample of time to talk, as the news is going to stir emotions no matter how much you want the otherwise to happen.
Be polite and explain to your partner the reasons why you are breaking up and allow your partner to speak her mind. This way, both of you will get a complete closure and moving on will be a lot easier.