Split ups are not at all pleasant. They leave a deep emotional impact on both the partners as well as the kids. However, all men need to be warned that they make some really serious mistakes when passing through this rough patch of life. This Buzzle article highlights some of these mistakes to help you avoid them.
Mistakes to Avoid When Facing a Divorce
One of the biggest mistakes that men make when their wives ask for a divorce is that of moving out. As soon as the thought of a divorce sinks into their minds, they start feeling like aliens in their own homes. Often, the house is owned by the husband, yet the wife insists that the husband should move out on grounds that his presence is affecting the peace of home. At other times, wives ask the husband to leave so that they can avoid possibilities of fights in front of the kids. Most of the time, the intention behind moving out is to keep peaceful relations with the ex-partner. But is it really worth to leave the house after all? In fact, it just about weakens the husband's case when he seeks child custody, as moving out proves you do not care for your home and kids as much as your wife does. Similarly, a husband loses control over household expenditure as he has to pay for maintenance expenses and taxes along with the alimony at the time of divorce settlement.
It is best to separate your savings accounts or remove your wife's name from your checking account in case your divorce is in process. It is very difficult to judge what exactly is on the mind of your spouse once the bitter feud over your divorce begins. This step helps you protect your hard-earned money from being illegally drained away by your wife. If this is not possible, the opt for opening a new checking account in your single name. Make sure to transfer all your money to this account immediately.
It is very common for divorcing couples to forget about securing their personal documents once the divorce procedure starts. If you are one of them, then immediately shift your important documents like property purchase deeds, passports, financial statements and investment certificates away from your wife. There have been several cases where wives destroyed their husbands' documents in fits of anger and frustration.
One crucial requirement for a legal battle to proceed smoothly is to inform all the details freely and frankly to your attorney. It is at times, difficult to let out tiny private details of your marriage to a third person but such details strengthen the foundation of your divorce case. Similarly, it is suggested that you mark a copy of all your divorce related correspondence with your wife to your attorney as well.
Your kids must have always been your priority. Remember, your divorce will naturally affect you emotionally, but it is your kids who suffer all the more as they are torn between both the parents. Avoid fighting in front of kids at all costs, else they are likely to feel depressed. If you have an older teen aged child, then there is nothing wrong in opening up to them with some facts about your turbulent relations. As far as young kids are concerned, protect them all the time and make sure that they feel secure.
It is common for couples to fight over each and every possessions in the house. It is quite likely that you might find your wife's demands unfair. But still exit the marriage without grieving over loss of such material possessions. However, be firm and deny handover if your wife starts demanding something that you owned since before your marriage.
Apprehension to Say 'NO'
It is quite likely that your ex-wife may start making unreasonably high alimony demands. She might demand some sharing of household expenses after the divorce process begins. Remember, it is perfectly fine to work out a fair amount of expenditure to be shared by you. You also need to put across that your wife cannot live on your money all her life and that she must start looking out for a new job to start her own source of income.
This is one of the most common side effects of a prospective divorce. Some men start flirting as they suddenly feel like they are 'Singles ready to mingle' while there are others who just want someone's company to avoid loneliness. There is yet another type of men who crave to make their ex-wife jealous by openly flirting around. Avoid doing this as it becomes an advantage in favor of your ex-wife as far as the divorce proceeds are concerned.
It is a common fact that a prospect of divorce turns relations sour between partners. It is however, in your own interest to be polite and cordial with your ex-wife. Maintain crisp, businesslike relations to keep matters from getting any worse. Leave behind any grudges that you may hold and look at the brighter side of a single life. It is common for those around you to feel that husbands are bullies in a bad marriage while the wife is a victim. Stay away from any kind of provocations. You might be tempted to call your wife names behind her back, but I suggest that you refrain from doing so.
Try to maintain your composure throughout the divorce trials. If your ex-wife has suddenly become unreasonable, then you need not follow suit. Handle the situation in a matured way. Make sure that the whole process is as amicable as possible.