She’s independent, she’s bold, and she’s strong! Strikingly different from other ladies her age, yet similar in certain ways, an overly independent woman is a fascinating person to be with. This MenWit article enlists 25 things you need to know before dating an independent girl.
Quick Tip: Be independent
Independent women want someone in their life who is just as challenging as they are. Have a life beside calling or texting the lady 24X7, and she’ll get back to you. Cling to her like a leech; she’ll drop you like a hot potato.
The word ‘independent’ has been badly misunderstood and misconstrued to the point of stating that ‘being overly independent’ is a way to show negative attitude and boost one’s ego. How wrong. And sad. Being independent does not mean you are literally and completely not dependent on anyone. At the end of the day, man is a social animal, and we all need each other. Independence helps you establish your own identity, carve your niche, and become self-reliant. It helps you manage yourself, love yourself, and to a great extent, to be in control of yourself.
Since time immemorial, the Pavlovian circumstance has been played out in the form of an earning man and a supportive wife. Despite the changing times, some societal prejudices remain the same. Perhaps this is why the term ‘independent woman’ is sometimes frowned upon. That said, independence applies to both men and women. That it is associated more with the female population, nowadays, is possibly due to the preconceived notions over the years. Whatever that may be, irrespective of the gender, independence is a virtue, a quality to be cherished. While everybody, rather every woman is independent in some way or the other, there is a certain section of womenfolk that is overly independent―literally and figuratively. You have to keep certain pointers in mind if you plan to have her in your life. The points mentioned below will give you some tips you need to know prior to dating an independent woman.
She likes to be alone.
No, she is not a loner. She loves herself, and she loves what she does. You are an important part of her life, but you are not her life. Being alone is something she revels in; it is her comfort zone. She loves the solitude.
She is not accustomed to frills.
She is not the kind who will expect you to call or text her every minute; in fact, chances are, she might despise that behavior. What’s more, she is not used to being taken care of. While she may appreciate it if you are doing things for her, she may not like it very much either, she’ll feel like you are bestowing a great favor upon her. Do not feel offended by this attitude; it’s just that she knows how to take care of herself and is not one of those people who need all the fluff in the world.
She is very ambitious, enthusiastic, and open to change.
She does not work exclusively for money, she loves to use her brain, skills, and creativity. She loves to work and cherishes the feeling of being independent. She works because she wants her own career, her own identity. She is very ambitious―she may know her goals for the next decade or so. She is also open to change and is very enthusiastic about it. You are unlikely to experience a dull moment when she is around, because she is full of adventure and excitement.
She can do her stuff alone.
This is one of the advantages independent women possess. She is independent in every sense. She does not need you to drive her anywhere, do her laundry, take her out to dinner, or anything else. She can clean up for herself, she does her chores on her own, pays her own bills, exercises, and takes care of everything else. You will be welcome to join her and help of course, but do not expect her to wait for your opinion in every matter.
She is not the kind to serve her man like an ideal partner.
If you spend the night at her place, do not expect her to get up before you and serve you breakfast in bed. She may do it of course, but in all probability, she’ll prefer catching up on sleep. Also, do not expect her to consult you in every matter, take you permission, report to you, and whatever else. She’ll do none of that.
She can make friends in a jiffy.
Oh yeah, she loves to be alone, and yet, she can be the life of the party if she needs to be. She loves to socialize, so if you take her to a party full of unknown people, you can be sure she will know more than half of them by the time the party is done. She loves spending time with people―familiar or strangers―yet she is not dependent on any of them to make her feel great. She is comfortable in her own skin. What’s more, the friends she has known for a long time will be quite protective of her. So if you are dating her, be ready to face a barrage of questions from her friends, who want to make sure you are the right guy for her.
She enjoys chivalry as long as it is not overdone.
She loves chivalry. She will like you to open the door for her, pull out her chair, and be treated like a woman. She will like you to make plans. Do not go overboard though, making her feel like Royalty, or else she will find the lack of spark in the relationship and may walk off.
She is financially independent.
She will split the restaurant bills with you, she will refuse expensive gifts, she will pay for every single thing herself. She will never ask you for money, and if she does, she will pay you back as soon as possible. You can be sure she is better at financial planning than you are, and she has already saved enough for her needs and retirement. She will most certainly not want to lean on your shoulder for financial support.
She can be stubborn sometimes, wanting her own way.
She is intelligent enough, and so may be stubborn and adamant about handling things in a particular way. She does this because she has already done it before, and she does not need any advice for the same. If she needs suggestions, she will ask you without any inhibitions. So, let her do things her own way. Do not fight her, challenge her instead.
She is not the clingy, needy kind.
She is certainly not the one who clings and whines, and she will not like you to be one either. If you give her even a slight indication of you needing her every minute, there is very much a chance that she will leave you immediately. Extremely needy people are a big turn-off for such women.
She can do what is termed as ‘manly’ work with complete ease.
Don’t even think she will be in trouble when she has to do the typical ‘tough’ work, as people put it. She is perfectly capable of changing the light bulb in her bathroom, filling up gas at the gas station, repairing her own car, and fixing stuff around the house. If you want to offer help, say so without a chauvinistic note in your voice.
She likes her own space, and she’ll give you space too.
If you want to go out with your friends, she will be more than happy. She respects privacy, and she needs her own space. She may sometimes want to go out for a night of fun with her friends; do not keep questioning her about where she is going and for how long, even if that is your way of showing concern. She is capable enough of taking care of herself, and she will not like you invading your personal space. She loves the complete freedom of her private life.
She believes in the institution of marriage, with the right person of course.
She will love to marry and settle down, she will love her spouse and cherish him, as long as she feels he is ‘the one’. If not, she will hate to be tied down and would want to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. She would like her partner to be a little creative and imbibe the creativity in daily life―perhaps if her husband is a chef or a painter or a connoisseur of paintings, she will love him all the more.
She may not need people at all.
It is true that everyone needs someone at some point, and independent women are no exceptions. However, they do not need anyone in their life as a rule; they are not desperate. They are firm and self-reliant, and at times, they seem so strong, you may wonder if they need anyone at all. The fact is, they do, but can do without as well. And, when they do need you, they will cherish you so much, you’ll feel like the luckiest person on the planet.
She is extremely loving, caring, and loyal, when she needs to be.
She is ever loving and caring, just not in the conventional way. She will love you with all her heart, and will love to receive the same in return. In the beginning, she will take things slowly, for she does not want to lose her identity amidst the lavish attention she is receiving. Also, when she realizes that she is beginning to like you more than necessary, she will take a step backwards.
Don’t worry, just give her time to work things out in her mind and set a balance between her love for you and her independence. If she really loves you, she will stand by you even if the entire world is against you. She will want you to be true to her, because she will be true to you. For her, marriage is not the end of her identity, it’s just a phase of life; she will love her spouse and never be shy of exhibiting the same. What’s more, she is fiercely loyal. Unless you cheat on her, she will not leave you, come what may. Honesty and commitment are deeply ingrained in her, and when she gives, she will give you everything she has, because she has chosen you out of her own independent will. You are hers, and she will boast about that to the world.
She is headstrong, a feminist, and commands respect.
She is headstrong, yes, but she is not egoistic. And yes, she is a feminist. She will vouch for her own rights―not to demean the rights of the male population, but to prove that she can do anything that is expected of her. She can survive without love, but not without respect. Her dignity and self-esteem mean everything to her and she will not compromise those values, come what may. Order your misogynistic behavior to get dimmer―she will not tolerate it. She knows what she wants, she controls her life, so say what you genuinely mean. She will fearlessly voice her opinion, have healthy debates, and stay strong about her perspective. Not in the least will she put up with disrespect.
She’s tough, yet vulnerable, outgoing, yet reserved.
She is a conflict of emotions. She will be on alert in the beginning, but if she feels you are worth it, she will expose her vulnerable side. She will be outgoing, yet, she does not necessarily require to lead that kind of life, so she may be reserved and may catch up on her hobbies. She is hard to please, yet soft at heart. She will hide her weakness as much as possible―when she does express them, you can be sure that she has overcome her fear and has chosen you to be that important person in her life. She may be possibly scared that you will hurt her, so she will take time to trust―a lot of time. But it will be worth it.
She need not tell you everything she is doing.
She will not tell you when she is paying the bills, or when she is attending her best friend’s wedding, or when she is going to the supermarket. She may not even tell you some of the problems she is facing at work or any personal crisis. It does not mean that she is excluding you from her life, it just means that she is used to solving these problems herself. She will not whine on your shoulder all the time.
She is straightforward and frank.
No sugarcoated pill here―she is transparent and honest. She will tell you what she likes and dislikes about you, she will tell you what she wants from you. No pretenses there. It is safer to be equally honest with her; so if you are not ready for a relationship, say so right away. She is strong enough to handle it.
She is used to taking her own decisions, yet she’ll love it if you take initiative.
If you go out on a date, she may not even wait for you to place the order, she’ll do so herself. Yet, she will love it if you take the initiative. She may be very prone to taking decisions at her workplace, so do not expect that she will depend on you to decide. She loves to plan and enjoy, have new adventures, meet new people―all on her own.
She is not one to be fooled around with.
If you do not want to remain in a long-lasting relationship with her, say so in the beginning. If she finds that you are commitment-phobic, she will leave you before you can do so. She will not hesitate to make a quick decision about whether she wants you or not because she knows she has chosen you. So, do not fool around with her unless you want to be dumped soon.
She can be choosy and spontaneous; she may or may not be jealous.
She may take long to choose you, but she may not be jealous. So, do not try the ‘social media’ trick with her. Do not post pictures with your ex or other girls, she will be least bothered, she has other stuff to look forward to. She will not be impressed with any of your antics either. She is rather selective, keep it that way.
She is a good conversationalist, and expects you to be one as well.
She will want you to listen to you―she loves having intelligent conversations, so if you are out on a date with her, expect to have an interesting evening. If you keep staring at her or keep appreciating her mindlessly, she might lose interest on the first date itself. She is a wonderful listener and an excellent communicator as well.
She is emotionally strong.
She has been through hard, trying times, she has probably faced enough troubles in her life, taken care of the sick or elderly, faced financial problems, been dumped, lost loved ones, and what not, everything on her own. She not only has a tough exterior, but a strong inner wall too, that will not break even under the toughest of circumstances. She does not really need your shoulder to cry on, she is not a coward.
She inspires everyone and wishes to be inspired in return.
She doesn’t need someone to complete her; she wants someone to inspire her. She wants to motivate, and in turn, be motivated. She is strong, so she wants you to be strong so that she can find an equal. She will want to grow with you, learn with you, and spend the rest of her life with you, and yet, she will want to retain her individual style and want you to do so as well.
Guys, understand that being independent does not mean the woman is a loner. She just loves to spend some time with herself. And all she demands is equality, not a condemnation of the other gender. If you plan to date a woman who is highly independent, follow some of the points mentioned above, and be prepared for a satisfying relationship. She will love you from the bottom of her heart, laugh with you, make you feel inspired, confident, and intellectual, and get you to experience new adventures every day. If you are ambitious and independent too, you can be sure that an independent woman will be the perfect life-partner for you, sharing your goals and visions, matching your strengths, and being the motivational support you need.