There can be no single handbook (or an entire series of encyclopedia for that matter!) to understand women, but there are some things about them that most men tend to overlook.
Since the dawn of time, many mysteries of the universe have eluded man. The creation of the world, life on Mars, the Bermuda Triangle, the Lost City of Atlantis, are all part of the many secrets that the universe holds close to her bosom. None among them seem to be as much of a mystery as the mind of the fairer sex.
But not all hope is lost. While no Einsteinian breakthrough has been made in this field (even the greatest brains of the world steered well clear of this subject), millions of years of being around arguably the most beautiful creation of God (I’m so getting beat up by my bowling buddies for this!), the code to understanding women has finally been cracked! Wishful thinking, so some might say, but here are a few things that could actually help many of my stranded fellow Martians out there to better understand these almost mystical beauties from Venus.
As difficult as most men find it to believe, women aren’t really complicated beings. Men and women are very much alike, and yet they are worlds apart. We share the same beautiful world, have the same emotions (some stronger than the others), and no matter how much the hardcore patriarchs and the relentless feminists may disagree, we just can’t do without the other. Yes, we would survive just fine without each other, but hey, you might live for scores of years, it’s only the life in those years that really counts…
Clichéd as this may sound, the fact still remains that men and women are simply wired differently. So while apples taste great just by themselves, it is the oranges that add the much-needed tang. While women might not understand what all the fussing about ‘horsepower’ is, men can’t for the life of them seem to understand the fascination of women with shoes (of course there are plenty of tech savvy women out there and loads of men who just can’t seem to get over their shoes!). Women are in fact rather simple, and are often ‘under’ understood than misunderstood. This might not be ‘Understanding Women for Dummies’ or ‘The Guide to Women’s Hearts’ (these would surely sell like hotcakes), but here’s a look at some things that most of us know but don’t seem to understand too well.
She likes to be Complimented
“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” Women (okay, a lot of women) go through a lot of trouble to deck up. This need not be to catch your eye, but a genuine compliment will go a long way with her. Small things like “You’re looking nice today” (tread carefully though, they might ask you what’s the problem every other day), or even just a smile can do the trick.
Appreciation Always Works
Appreciate her little acts and you will be one happy man. You might not always like the end result but take some time to think about the effort and the intention behind even the small little things that she does. Remember what Oscar Wilde says, “Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.” Appreciation is just another way of telling her that you value her. Careful though, you don’t want to go overboard with it and make her feel uncomfortable.
Be all (H)EaRS
Now here’s something that has most of us men running for cover. Women can talk about almost any and everything under the sun. If you are the beau to a pretty lady, you might want to pay close attention to all the things she has to say. Yes, we men may not enjoy listening to what nail colors are in vogue or stuff about the latest winter line of clothing, but when they talk to you, understand that it’s their way of making you a part of their world.
For the more adventurous sorts out there, you could try telling her that fashion and other ‘girly stuff’ don’t really interest you, but you might want to choose your words real carefully or you truly are gonna be done for!
P.S – You might want to soak in all she has to say, as when she asks you for your opinion about something, you don’t want to be the deer caught in the headlights. Trust me it won’t be just the headlights coming your way, she WILL run you over!
Men might have their hearts wired to their stomachs, but women have their heart in the right place. Be honest with them always (unless it’s a “Have I put on weight?” question). You don’t ever want to lie to her or be fake in any way. You might also want to remember that there’s a very good reason why they say, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, and you definitely don’t want to find that out for yourself.
Be ‘Nice’ to Her
There’s a lot more to being ‘gentlemanly’ than being chivalrous. While holding the door for her or pulling the chair out for her, will undoubtedly get her smiling, you always want to take care to treat her right. Respect her and be nice to her, but don’t patronize her in any way. It’s not about the sweet words you say but the way you behave that matters. She is perfectly capable of handling herself but may be ONCE in a WHILE you could make her feel like ‘she’s the only woman in the world’.
Be Patient with Her
Most, if not all women are very self-conscious (which still doesn’t quite justify the endless hours in getting the perfect look, but hey the end result is totally worth it). Do not deride them of their ‘little’ time with themselves or you are in for a very unpleasant ride! We guys love our gadgets, our bikes, our cars, and can spend endless hours romancing with them. So it would be only fair to let them obsess over things that they like to do.
Be Understanding of Her
Women at times, tend to have their mood swings and may seem like ‘ice princesses’. Be understanding always, give them the space when they need it, and there are gonna be times you need to hold on tight and just not let go (you definitely don’t want to mix up these two scenarios). There are bound to be times when their actions defy all logic and sense of reasoning. Like the great poet Matthew Prior said, “Be to her virtues very kind, Be to her faults a little blind.”
Communicate with Her
Share your thoughts, and feelings with her. As I mentioned earlier, talking means a lot more to women than just gossiping, it is in fact letting you into their world. It’s just a small gesture to show that you care enough to share things with her. Most of us men will sum up our day with ‘Great’ or ‘Okay’, women are known to come up with epic tales about even the fifteen minutes spent at the doc’s clinic! So you might want to learn to frame bigger sentences and use loads of adjectives.
Show Her Affection
ALL women love to be showered with affection. You might want to strike a perfect balance between the miserable Grinch and the overzealous Santa! At times you might need to take your special lady out on a romantic candlelight dinner, and at times just a glance to see if she’s okay will suffice. Always remember, a simple hug goes a long way, and says a lot more than you possibly can with even the fanciest of gifts.
Show Her off
Most women would love to be introduced to your drinking buddies. In fact most guys love to strut around with their ‘love interest’ close at hand (just an immense sense of pride to have the most beautiful woman in town by your side). You might not want them to get too acquainted either ‘cos you surely wouldn’t want her to team up with your buddies to play a prank on you.
Give Her Time
Now this is something that gets most of us sighing. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time! Prioritize your commitments. You don’t want to be at her beck and call all the while nor would you want to text her just before your dinner date saying “Out drinking with the guys. Can’t make it.” (no guy in his right mind would do that – before drinking!). Give her your time and your attention when you are with her. If she understands you and gives you your space, hold on to her and never let go!
See no Evil!
If you are in fact fortunate enough to have that special someone in your life, you don’t ever want to be caught leching at another woman. We all know that beauty is meant to be adored, and she too knows that your eyes are bound to stray every now and then. The important thing here is, wander if you really must but at the end of the day have eyes for your special lady alone. And if you are in fact caught in the act of drooling over some other girl, then God alone save you my friend.
As surprising as this might seem, women talk about almost everything but there’s a lot unsaid that we are just expected to understand. This tends to land most of the guys in quite a predicament. Women undoubtedly are simple beings but men haven’t quite changed a lot since the Stone Age! Most of us men still understand the simple language, “Me hungry. Me want food.”
For women, it means a lot if a guy can understand the things left unsaid. There might be instances where you will just need to judge if a NO means just a no or if it means ‘I need to be persuaded a little.’ No amount of meditation or yoga can help you with this (although divine intervention might just work); you just need to figure it all out somehow and keep your eyes peeled for the subtle (and at times the in-your-face) hints that come your way.
These may get a few to hurl some brickbats my way while with the others I might win some brownie points. The truth mis amigos would still be what the lovely Helen Rowland said, “And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.”