Dealing with an unhappy or angry ex is nothing short of a dreaded nightmare. Yes, both of you were involved at some point, but the relationship has now ended. And one of you has moved on, while the other still holds a deep grudge. This post talks about handling a difficult ex-wife and ensuring that there is no bad blood left…
Marriages break due to a lot of reasons, and it is really not easy to understand or handle a separation. There are some couples who try their best to move on for their kids and themselves. They work things out and arrive at a place where they can feel happy for each other. Being newly single is overwhelming, and it really takes a lot of courage to accept that your husband or wife has started dating again. However, some tend to live in the past and cry over spilled milk. They can’t accept that their ex has moved on. With such a pessimistic attitude, they can surely make things difficult for themselves, their ex, the new companion, and the kids.
This article talks about dealing with a difficult ex-wife. Now let’s see the situations that make her ‘difficult’:
- The anger and frustration can make her an extremely difficult person. She may constantly blame her husband for the breakup make the situation more tense.
- An ex-wife may become intolerable with her constant unreasonable demands about child care and expenses.
- She may not allow her ex-husband to see his kids or turn them against him.
- She might try to interfere in his new dating life and make it complicated.
- She may call up his friends and spread rumors about his abusive behavior towards her and your kids. She may also show up at his office and create a scene.
Dealing with a Bitter Ex-Wife
Wouldn’t it be nice if exes could just get along and forget their hatred for each other? The marriage is over and there is nothing that can be done about it. The best way to move on is by focusing on the future and behaving like responsible adults and parents. Dealing with a difficult ex can be exhausting, yet you continue to be positive for your kids because you don’t want them to suffer. Try these tips to deal with the situation.
Don’t try to change her angry behavior. If she blames you for the broken marriage, any explanation from your side will only result in more hostility and drama. Let time do the healing; your job is to be patient.
Respect Everything She Does
For peace in your relationship, be appreciative of any positivity from her side. Respect her lifestyle choices and maintain a cordial relationship even after the separation. Even if you are uncomfortable with her choices, avoid indulging in criticism; especially to the kids.
Don’t get Dragged into the Past
She is likely to bring up the past in your conversations. For instance, if you are discussing the kids and the conversation starts going to the unhappy past, politely turn it towards the kids. If she persists, be firm and say, “Let’s not discuss the past”. It is going to be extremely difficult, but you need to be firm.
Avoid Introducing your New Companion
This is a strict no-no. Don’t bring the new girlfriend in the picture too soon. Don’t discuss your dating life (even with your kids) till your ex has accepted the separation. Wait for the right time.
Dealing with your Partner’s Ex-Wife
Having to deal with your partner’s angry ex can be very threatening to your relationship or marriage. She can create a lot of issues between you and her ex. An important thing to remember here is, not to allow her to take the upper hand and spoil your mood. She may tolerate your presence, but if she is a difficult person to please or deal with, you will never be in her good books.
Make your Peace with the Situation
If your partner’s ex still has bitter feelings, she will not accept you easily. To her, you are just a home wrecker, the woman who stole her man. If your husband has kids, be nice to them and make them feel comfortable around you. This will make him extremely happy and your relationship stronger.
But Don’t let Her Interfere
We all want things to happen our way, but don’t expect this from your partner’s ex. Realize that she is a different person, she sees things with a different view and probably leads life on her own rules and terms. Your points of view may differ. However, if she begins to interfere in your relationship with your partner and the kids, discuss it with your partner. He may be capable of handling the situation in a better manner.
Don’t be Possessive
The smartest thing that you can do is let your partner handle all communication with his ex. It might seem a little difficult because you may not like him talking to her at all. But remember that she was his wife at some point and is the mother of his children. Let him handle this situation at his own pace and be there to listen if he wants to share anything.
Don’t try too Hard
Don’t be too nice or try too hard to establish a relationship with her, and avoid taking her judgments about your lifestyle too seriously. Her mind may be filled with millions of thoughts which she is incapable of understanding and it may take time for her to accept your presence as a reality and not as a rebound.
No matter how angry or frustrated you or the ex-wife are, never involve the kids in the chaos. They are probably innocent, and it would be better if you tried to build a good relationship with them. Dealing with an ex-spouse is never easy, but you can’t lose your mind on this. Be patient and try to handle the situation smoothly, but ensure that you draw a line somewhere so that you are not taken for granted.