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Dating Diaries: What to Do When Your Girlfriend is Mad at You

What to Do When Your Girlfriend is Mad at You
Sometimes it can be tough to please women. And when it's the matter of placating an upset girlfriend, then ideas generally don't come flooding in. If you are someone who requires help in such a situation, we've got a few suggestions...
Sheetal Mandora
Last Updated: Mar 19, 2018
Maintaining relationships is tough work. Then again, people who are in one, never did refute it. There will be good times and bad, and our levels of patience and tolerance will be checked. In good times, life seems happier and it makes more sense. But when bad times roll in, it can really be challenging. Men and women have different takes on how they handle particular situations. And even here, every individual will interpret and tackle situations to the best of their abilities. So when we are discussing tactics on 'handling' issues in a relationship, there comes a time in every man's life where he will literally not know how to deal with them.

Even though I have said that every guy will face issues in his romantic life, that doesn't mean he will never know how to get out of it. Many men are good at seizing emotional fires and moving forward. However, there are some who lack these qualities. And here, we would like to extend a friendly hand for help. So if you feel that you desperately require some assistance in winning your girlfriend's heart back, you should be reading this article thoroughly.
What Guys Generally Do
Many guys cannot express themselves and are afraid to let their girlfriends know what they want. Sometimes, even they are confused as to what they want in life or from the person they are romantically involved with. Hence, at the time of a fight, they are completely taken by surprise and can't figure out what their next step should be. Often times they have this inclination of leaving their girlfriends alone and letting them come out of it whenever they can. But the truth is, if there is a fight or an issue that needs to be resolved, running away or not communicating is not the right way to go. So what do you do? If your girlfriend is mad at you, for whatever reason or whoever is at fault, keep these tips in mind.
unhappy woman and happy man
Don't ...
  • ignore her when she wishes to speak to you.
  • try to take her anger or quietness lightly.
  • accuse her of starting the fight or being the main reason behind it.
  • behave that the fight, argument, or the fact that she's upset doesn't affect you.
  • shut down because you don't want to discuss or talk about the fight.
  • keep asking her if she's still mad at you.
  • watch television, play video games, or work on a project.
  • bring old arguments and fights in the present.
  • laugh or smile at her when she's trying to explain herself to you.
  • trigger her pet peeves (point a finger at her, not make eye contact, etc.).
  • compare her with your ex, female friends, colleagues, and especially your mom.
  • be condescending or patronize her.
  • shower her with gifts.
  • try to distract her with physical advances.
  • deny that there is something to be worked on.

There may be times when you won't even realize that you're doing all these things. Involuntary actions or behavior is natural because it is something we are accustomed to. Same goes for men who like to avoid confrontational instances. In your case, you may or may not be doing these things (or have a whole box of 'don'ts' of your own), but it is possible that certain behavioral choices irk her. And that, my friend, is what you have to avoid.
What Women Actually Want
Men with girlfriends know what women are and can be like. The fairer sex has the tendency to mask what she wants, whom she wishes to speak to, and what actually makes her angry/sad/upset. This art of 'not showing her true self' is common among many women and it can leave men baffled. Not knowing what to do in certain situations is one of the worst things a man can go through. Women are not open books and men definitely cannot read them accurately. So how should you proceed from here? What is it that women want you to do, or wish for you to act, while tackling unfriendly atmosphere? Here are our suggestions.
couple drinking in restaurant
Do ...
  • the opposite of everything we mentioned in the "Don'ts" section.
  • stay close to her, but not so much that you're crowding her.
  • take the time to listen to whatever that is bothering her.
  • try to make her laugh/smile.
  • take her seriously and make her believe that you're there for her.
  • offer to help around the house.
  • speak to her even if she's not replying.

I know that it's difficult or perhaps too much to ask from someone who's going through a fight. However, I'd suggest you look at this situation/fight/argument/misunderstanding from her point of view. If she has a rational point, then chances are you're doing or saying something that has offended her and hurts her. On the other hand, there is a possibility that she's being unreasonable in her demands (emotional or otherwise), you can try to explain your side of the story.
Avoiding the Cliché
If the two of you have had a fight or aren't on the same page, there is one thing and one thing only left for you to do - damage control. You don't wish to fight any longer and I guess seeing her sad and moping around the house isn't fun as well. However, in your efforts, what you cannot forget is you need to stay as far away as possible from cliché. Repeated, tried and tested ideas may not work here (she knows it and so do you). Being creative is the key. Keep flowers, box of chocolates, and unceremonious gifts out of the picture if they've failed in the past. You want to woo her, not make her think you can't come up with something new on your own.
If She's Talking to You
There are different levels of anger a woman will go through; and these levels can only be deciphered by men who have experience in dealing with such situations and have lived to tell the tale. Women are complex (there's no denying this) and each require original, well-thought-of methods for approach. You wouldn't have to work too hard since I'm assuming she's your girlfriend and that you've spent a relative amount of time with her. You are aware of her ups and downs, likes and dislikes; but the fact of the matter is, you still have a long way to go in placating her.

Having said that, let's just assume she has not completely stopped talking to you. Then what should be your next step? Obviously, there are certain tricks that can be applied here and you can easily bring back to her chirpy self and move ahead. This is what we suggest you can try if your girlfriend is mad at you, but is still talking a bit.
couple having dinner on beach
  • Remind her of any previous fight you two may have had and how both of you worked together into resolving it.
  • Tell her how much you love her/want her in your life and be sincere while you do so.
  • Become extra sweet. Cook her a special meal, watch her favorite movie with her, take her for a romantic dinner date, call her friends over and let them hangout, offer to do something, anything for her.

At this point, assuming that she's at least on talking terms and hasn't completely shunned you out, all your energy should be utilized into making her forget about the fight. I'm not advising you make false promises or do things that you wouldn't rather do. What we are aiming at is making her feel special, and that can only be possible when you are genuine in your attempts.
If She Hasn't Said a Word
Now comes the darker side of a fight; she's giving you the silent treatment. It's very common in her world and she will use this piece of weapon whenever she deems necessary. In order to avoid this and make sure you're safe and secure on the other side, there is a two-fold method - reduce the level of her anger and getting her to talk. As everyone knows, women love to talk; there is nothing else more fun, interesting, and exciting. If you succeed into doing this, you have become the master at maintaining the relationship with your girlfriend. Here, I won't be able to tell you exactly what and how you can go about it because not every individual is the same. This applies to your girlfriend as well. She will have her own ideas, beliefs, opinions, quirks, etc. for being who she is. The advice that I can give you, at this stage, is know her. It is important for you to understand who she is as a person and then proceed.
quarrel couple at park
Relationships, yes they are never easy to deal with. And when you are at crossroads, not knowing how to go about making your upset girlfriend come back to you happy and satisfied, there are certain ways to adopt. We have provided the resources for the small hiccup in your relationship. Now it all depends on you and your mad skills.