Breakups are hard, whatever the duration of the relationship; the result is almost always a broken, battered heart. While many pity the fairer sex for getting hurt so often, coupled with a vengeful attitude towards men, we must remember that even the tougher of the sexes can have their hearts broken. It isn’t easy to wake up every morning with that hollow, uncomfortable feeling, as the realization of what happened slowly settles in.
Sleepless nights, multiple tequila shots, outrage, humiliation, a sense of deep loss – these are just some of the things that the common, emotionally fraught, heartbroken guy goes through. Whether it was actually your fault or hers that led up to a breakup, we cannot say. But whatever the reasons or circumstances may be, someone got hurt. If you’re sitting around depressed about a girl, you need to remember that life goes on, and time―with great effort from your part―will heal all the wounds.
Erase all Data
In this day and age, the Internet has proved to be quite a replacement for good old-fashioned handwritten material. While some of you may actually have handwritten letters, notes, cards and the like, others have folders created in their Internet mail accounts where emails are carefully tucked away. Photographs may be crammed into your hard drive or portable hard disk as well, spanning reminiscent moments over time that make your heartache – delete it all. Select all, delete.
Trash the Past
It’s nice when two people exchange gifts, but it’s toxic to keep them after a bad breakup. If you want to get over this girl you love, you need to dispose of everything in order to heal. The gifts will only bring back painful memories. You may think that keeping the gifts she gave you is okay because you want to safeguard what you two shared, but it is only holding you back from taking a step forward. The next girl in line will not be happy about the things you’ve kept from your past.
Stop turning over the details of the breakup in your head. Stop looking for ways to make it right when clearly it cannot be fixed. Stop beating yourself up about what happened and come to terms with the situation. Yes it can be quite sad when you think over the details, but it’s not healthy to brood over an issue that is doing more harm than good. Learn from your mistakes if what is broken cannot be mended, and don’t start seeing someone else unless you’re completely over your ex.
Self-Abuse is a Huge No-No
Substance abuse is never going to solve issues related to the human psyche. Turning against your body for matters of the heart is only going to leave you melancholic, bitter, and lonely. Clean up your act and seek help either from counseling or group therapy; even trusty family members or friends can be contacted. To toss the weight off your chest, sincerely apologize to your ex-girlfriend for what happened (if it is your fault). Six months from now, send her an email and say you’re sorry again – she will be much calmer by then. Don’t expect her to offer you forgiveness (again, if it is your fault) on a silver platter if the magnitude of the problem still pinches her – at least you tried. If she’s the one who messed up and you can’t get past what she did, be the bigger person and accept her apology if she cares to offer one, walk away with your head held high. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, my friend.
Change for the Good
Don’t neglect the things that matter in today’s world – a healthy mind and body. Sign up for a health program that will either help you get into shape or maintain a good form for years to come. It’s never too early or late to begin. There are a variety of options available besides a vigorous gym routine, so explore your options and use them to take your mind off the breakup. Exercises of any kind are a natural healing alternative to rid the mind of emotional white noise.
Take a trip if you haven’t already whether with family or friends. Even if it’s just a weekend away or a couple of days, leave the city and everything else behind that reminds you of your ex. Don’t take your thoughts or emotions with you, take time off to breathe. It will ease away the stress and give you an immense sense of well-being. Be sure not to remain idle – surround yourself with family, friends, extracurricular activities, a budding career and the like, to keep your mind preoccupied.
Don’t Lose Hope
Don’t ever lose hope. Love will come to you when you least expect it to, so don’t give up just yet. Don’t let your ideals (loyalty, care, respect, and such) weaken with time because of this breakup. Maybe you’ve had your heart broken before – it doesn’t justify your indifference towards a potential partner. Yes, it is emotionally and mentally exhausting to start from scratch, but don’t let new love take the punch for your past issues.
Love is a bowl of soup, it can be calm one moment and turbulent the next. It can be hard to get over someone at first, but as time lapses you’ll come to understand a lot about how things work, and be better equipped to take on anything thrown your way.