It only takes a few creepy text messages from a guy to get a girl disinterested in him. See what common mistakes guys make while texting a girl they like, and how you can avoid them from happening to you…
A Humble Reminder
There is a reason why text messages have a character limit – 160 to be exact. It’s almost the same amount of words that can be written on a postcard. Take the hint, guys.
Texting isn’t rocket science, but that doesn’t stop some people from making errors which can’t be neglected. In our society, we have established certain norms that are expected to be followed. Attraction is a tricky thing. It provides strength to people who are willing to do anything and everything for the other person. With the growth of technology, human interaction has switched from face-to-face conversations to a more digital approach. Therefore, understanding, adapting, and following standard communication practices has become a necessity.
It may seem that only guys fumble for words or end up upsetting the girls they wish to attract. But this isn’t the case; even girls can make texting mistakes. So let this article be a guide to anyone and everyone who want to know the pitfalls of sending text messages.
Texting Styles that Turn Women Off
There are many things guys do, that, more often than not, baffle girls. These include sending certain types of texts and not following universally-accepted texting practices. If you don’t want to make such mistakes with the girl you’re attracted to, make it a point to read the rest of this article.
Not-so-impressive First Text
Hey, Stacey! I was just thinking, my parents met just once and were married by the time they turned 21. Amazing, isn’t it?! You don’t see that nowadays.
Um… sure. I guess.
Instead of the debacle that we just witnessed in the above message, try saying – Hey, (name)! How was your weekend? Hope you haven’t forgotten about our date this Wednesday! or I was watching a (movie/TV show name) and (the character’s name) reminded me of you. Impressing a girl in your first ever text to her is crucial. Plus, you may not be the only guy interested in her or trying to initiate a conversation. Many guys have the ability to get a girl’s number, but how they use it afterwards is the key. What you need to concentrate on is how to make her notice you from the very beginning, and that she’s made the right decision by giving you her number.
Boring Messages, Missing Individuality
Hey there, Claire. How are you??
Hi, Phil. I’m doing good.
How’s your day going so far? I just wanted to see how you were doing and if everything is OK?!
Yup… all’s good here. I have some work right now… so I’m gonna go. Take care.
This is definitely what you don’t want to happen. Failing to connect with the girl you like is a disaster; especially when text messages can’t convey deep, personal feelings. You want to familiarize yourself with the girl. But that won’t happen if you’re boring in your texts and can’t set yourself apart from the other men who are trying to woo her. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you might be the only one messaging her. She cannot find you interesting enough to text and eventually talk to if you’re boring her from the beginning. Be interesting in your approach; don’t just message her to find out ‘how she is’.
Making Unnecessary Assumptions
Sup, Nora. Did you get a chance to finish Math homework? I’m stuck at question #4.
Hi, Reid. Yeah I’m almost done. Question #4 was a head scratcher.
Can you help me with it? I don’t want Mr. Skinner yelling at me again for not doing my homework on time.
Yeah, sure. I’ll help you. Just let me get done with the last question and I’ll tell you what to do.
This was a simple conversation between two friends or classmates; there can be various other scenarios here. The guy is texting the girl to hold a conversation, stating genuine issue, and trying to get her to respond and involve her into his life. Her replies can mean two things – one, she likes the boy a lot and is happy that he considered her to help him out, and hence, wishes to help him; two, she’s helping him out as a friend. More often than not, guys misunderstand why a girl is replying to their texts. You may jump to the conclusion that she’s attracted to you, and hence, is moving the conversation forward. So the point is, don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions before having The talk regarding how each of you feel about one another. Random, day-to-day conversations don’t mean a lot when you see the big picture.
Not Mentioning the Girl’s Name
Hiya girl! How’s it goin’? It’s been awhile since we spoke.
Oh Orion… how are you? I’m doing good… just stuff, you know…
I hear ya. So gorgeous, how about we hang out this weekend.. huh, beautiful?!
Umm.. I’ll get back to you on that one.
Girls don’t like it when you address them with words like beautiful, gorgeous, honey, sweetie, etc.; it looks really disrespectful when instead of using these words as a compliment, it is used to acknowledge them with. Not typing her name in your texts can also mean that you may have forgotten her name or perhaps call all girls in the same manner. If the latter is true, it’s a huge turn-off for women.
Long Conversations Via Texts
Nora, how are you? Good I hope… I was wondering… how about going to the movies and then maybe go grab a bite to eat? And after that, I know this really great place that serves the best ice cream sundaes ever… I know how much you love that…
Alight, Finn. I guess that’s fine.
Or.. if you want to do something else, that’s cool with me too… Nothing is final yet. We still have two days till our date. I’m fine with whatever you like. It’s all cool, Nora…
Finn… the plan sounds good. I’ll see you Wednesday evening.
Text conversations and face-to-face conversations are two different things; no use mixing them. Keep formal greetings at bay and get to the good part sooner. You don’t have to write a thesis; write lesser, more interesting words or technique to make your point. If you think that the only way to get to know the girl is by sending her long texts, in hopes of receiving similar texts, it’s not the right move.
Sending Too Many Texts Before Getting a Reply
Gia, got a question for ya… What’s the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
Well… you’re taking an awful long time to reply.
Give up? I’ll tell you.If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment, and for bird flu, you need tweet-ment.
Alright, those messages were a disaster. Literally, there is no going back once a guy sends such texts to a girl. I hope you understood why we advice you to stay away from the urge to send such text messages. On a different type of conversation, like sending random texts that serve no purpose, if a guy sends 2 – 3 texts one after the other, without giving the girl a chance to reply to at least one of them, it only invites trouble. This habit shows that the guy is too eager and/or can bring disturbing news. So the advice is, don’t do this. Wait, and give the girl some breathing space. Also, just ask the girl out instead of beating around the bush and wasting both of your time.
Letting Autocorrect Win
Alyssa baby… please come over. I miss you so much.
Why? Did your PS3 break?Plus I’m too fat!
I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. How about joining my gym?
*far… I meant ‘too far’…
I guess the smartphones are playing a trick on all of us. Autocorrection of words is something we’ve all had issues with. So before you press ‘Send’, make sure that you’ve typed the words correctly and the message is exactly what you want to say. As for guys who are on the receiving end of such messages, handle sensitive topics like weight, beauty, etc., with utmost care.
Messages Having a Pattern
Hi Jenna! How are you? Is your cat having mood swings today as well?
Rory, I’m fine. How come you ask me the same question every morning?
‘Cause… it’s funny!
Uhhh… no, it’s not.
Do you normally have the same questions or things to talk about with your friends? Do you wear the same clothes or eat the same food everyday? No, right! Then what’s with the habitual questions or messaging at a regular time? Girls want to be surprised and want to talk about different things. If you make the mistake of repeating your conversations with her, she might not respond the next time you text her.
Making Deliberate Dates without Her Consent
Hey, it’s Andrew. We met at the café two days ago. How’s it going?
Oh hi Andrew. Just busy at the office. Have a big meeting this evening.
Alright. I was going to say we could catch up for some pizza. But I guess we’ll have to reschedule it to Friday night
Umm, Andrew… when did I agree to go with you on Friday… or any other day for that matter?
Assuming you can make a date without her agreeing to it in the first place? Wow, gutsy, but an immature move. You cannot think that just because the girl gave you her number, she’ll automatically go out with you. At that particular moment, while giving you her number, you seemed charming. She needs to know that you’re the same person; or maybe more.
Accusing Her of Being Something She May Not Be
Keira, Keira, sweet Keira. How are you, girl! Are you avoiding me? Reply when you get this…
Rhys.. I’m a little busy right now. Got some stuff… Can’t really talk.
Whoa, hey girl!! Are you playing hard to get? ‘Cause you know I ain’t into that. Good luck finding someone like me.
You should never, ever accuse a girl of being a player or the fact that she’s leading you on. It’s rude and doesn’t really settle well with girls. If a girl is genuinely busy and/or hasn’t been able to reply to your messages once or twice, it doesn’t automatically mean she’s playing hard to get. On another note, if you do have proof that this has happened on countless occasions, then and only then you’re free to assume so (and basically move on).
Sharing Every Detail of the Day with Her
Iris, guess what! I was at Baskin-Robbins and they got my order wrong. So they gave me the ice cream for free!!
Good for you!
Iris, Iris… I was playing Assassin’s Creed 3, and guess what… I completed the game in 23 hours non-stop, AND I got all the secret achievements.
Uhh.. is that a good thing?
Yes, she seems interested in you. And yes, she’s replying to your messages. But don’t think that she wants to find out what you’re doing at that very moment. Not everything that happens with us in our lives is enjoyable for others. Maybe not sharing every detail is a good thing, and keeping a bit of mystery might intrigue her as well.
Talking Dirty All the Time
Dahlia sweetheart, you were looking so hot in those jeans.
Thanks for the compliment Rocco, but can you please not say such things…
Why, girl? I’m just sayin’… We should be together.
Umm.. no. I don’t think so.
Just because you two text one another, doesn’t mean she wants to get intimate. A guy should not initiate dirty talks if the girl isn’t comfortable with it. Also, stay away from passing inappropriate comments about a girl. If these habits persist, she could choose to block your number and/or report you. So don’t make this mistake before knowing what’s in her heart.
Being Possessive Before Even Going on a Date
Robin, I texted you 3 times yesterday. Where were you? I’m a little worried. Is everything OK?
Titus, everything’s fine. My friends and I had gone camping. I didn’t get coverage.
Your friends? Was Christian there too? His intentions are not good, Robin. I want you to stay away from him.
Excuse me?? Who are you to tell me what friends I should and shouldn’t keep? You’re not my bf. Mind your own business.
Girls try to stay as far away as possible from possessive boys. So when you start behaving in that manner, that too without even going on a date with her, it crosses over to being scary. Everybody likes their freedom, and when someone, anyone tries to point fingers at it, the situation can get out of hand pretty quickly.
Texting While Drunk
Huh?? It doesn’t make any sense.
Im Drunmk. Sooo soo drunkl.
Ahh, I see. Well, enjoy and don’t do anything I wouldn’t.
Im Drunmk. Sooo soo drunkl.
I know, Leo. You said that already.
If you’re not in your senses, you may not be able to control yourself from texting her. A good way to avoid this situation is to keep your cell phone with a trustworthy friend. This way, you avoid drunk texting and won’t jeopardize anything with the girl you’re into.
Texting Regularly, then Disappearing
Holly, sweetie. Where have you disappeared to girl? It’s been awhile.
Me, disappeared?? You’re the one who stopped replying to my texts 5 weeks ago.
I got caught up in something. You know how it is….
As much as guys hate when girls play hard to get, it’s the same for girls as well. When you show interest in a girl and she reciprocates, she’s expecting you to take it forward. But when a guy makes the mistake of not keeping in touch and thinks that he can just come back, and things will be alright, he’s got another thing coming. Don’t treat a girl like she’s not important to you.
Taking Too Long to Respond to Her Texts
Joshua, hi! I was wondering if you’d like to hang out Saturday night? We can watch the new Iron Man movie together?
I didn’t see your text. Sorry we couldn’t make the plans for last weekend. Maybe some other time?
If she messages you on Tuesday, don’t wait till Sunday to reply to her text. It’s not cool. Plus, she’s not going to be waiting around for your reply. Also, this behavior is rude and uncalled-for. Treat a girl with respect and you shall get a positive response. A girl likes it when a guy is attentive and interested in what she has to say. But don’t text her back in like 2 seconds; that’ll be too weird.
Guys, I’m going to level with you. There are countless moments in life when you will wonder, what does a girl actually want in life. And the answer will always be – uncertain. Girls, at times, really don’t know what they’re looking for in a guy. This results in unnecessary squabbling and misunderstandings. So the next time you’re confused as to what to say in a text, just don’t do all the things I’ve mentioned in this article. And I hope that’ll be enough. Good luck!