Exchanging texts has become an inevitable part of the dating game, and the most annoying part of it is when you don’t get a response. It’s not only guys, but even girls tend to go absolutely silent, leaving the sender all perplexed and puzzled. This piece gives the lover boy in you some important tips on what to do if a girl you like doesn’t text back.
Texting works, conditions applied!*
Did you know? A study done by Brigham Young University found that too much texting is linked with dissatisfaction in relationships. Also, an Intel survey found that more than 60 percent of young people relied too much on technology and felt that it can be dehumanizing.
The reason that we shared this fact with you is not to demotivate you so that you completely stop sending texts, but to identify whether your overtexting is the reason why you are reading on this subject. The dating world is full of complications and mind games, and who says that only guys act like total jerks? Girls are no less when it comes to getting to their whole silent-treatment mode. You take off on a great note, things seem to be working just fine, you two have some interesting and fun conversations, exchange numbers, exchange texts, but all of a sudden, BAM―she stops replying!
What just happened? You begin to retrospect, analyze, read the conversations (if you had them at all) so as to figure what you might have uttered that froze her thumbs. When you can find no reason at all, your mind begins to come to these conclusions: Maybe she wants to act prissy; perhaps she wants to be chased; did she lose her phone, or, her fingers? Clearly, she is not interested.
Things You Can Do When She Doesn’t Reply to Your Texts
As if the whole tension of texting a girl for the first time wasn’t enough, as if you haven’t been through enough to make her like you, and now comes another obstacle, getting her to like you ‘again’ so that she responds to your message. Either you can be a part of the whole mind-boggling chase, or, just relax, move on with your life, and let her make a move. Whatever you choose to do, the following list contains the instructions for them all.
Text her again after a few days
Okay, first things first. You muster up the courage to text her and after a few replies, there comes nothing. Naturally, you will get flustered, but make sure you don’t take that out on her through your text. Relax, chill, breathe, remind yourself that the sky isn’t falling and the world still has a lot of chicks. The most wonderful thing about texts is that they are always read, sooner or later.
Here is the (almost) ultimate truth―girls check their phones every 5 minutes! Therefore, it is likely that she isn’t replying to your message probably because you did, or said, something offensive, boring, or uninteresting, in some way or the other. Whatever it is, the damage has been done. The most you can do now to handle the situation is to not act desperate. Don’t bombard her inbox with the why, where, what, when …. Just message her one time asking if everything’s okay, and then let her reply. Recheck not before a week or 10 days. This gap and to-the-point query would definitely work in your favor, and separate you from the guys she generally avoids, the guys who seem desperate stalkers.
Send her a curious message
Curiosity killed the cat, but it can surely help you win a girl! With so many guys around her, what makes you so special that you should be replied to? And most likely, the reason why she ain’t replying to your texts in the first place is because you seem to be just another ‘boring’, ‘plain’, ‘ordinary’ guy she has come across. She is done with your kind and doesn’t wish to take the conversation any further.
Show her that you are not what she thinks. Send her a message that conveys through every word that you are most definitely fun to be with. You can say something like,
You don’t have to look for the right words to reply to me. Just be clear and confident, like yourself, that’s how I like it. 🙂
Here, you have not only given her a cue to respond, but also complimented her conveying what you like in her.
Perhaps she is still doing the math, whether to keep you, or avoid you, what? If that is (or is not) the case, send her something like,
Guess you’re not done doing the math yet. It is a difficult subject. Let me know if you need any help to determine our equation.
You can also use your sense of humor to bring her back to the game. Another humorously funny response would be this:
Ha hahaha haahaaa 😀 :-D!
Your late replies are making me imagine funny things. Did you freeze? Did you bite your thumb out of excitement? Were you so happy that you threw your phone out of the window?
The later you respond, the better my imagination gets!
Nooooo… you didn’t die out of the thrill to get my message!!! Tell me that ain’t the case, tell me!
PS: Never ever send her a text saying that she has the time to post on Facebook and Twitter, but not to reply to your messages. This will make you a psycho stalker! Period.
Is it a chase-me game she wants?
The previous step will definitely let you know what’s going on at the other end. If she responds, there is a possibility that she wants you to play the chasing game. She wants you to overcome all the obstacles she puts your way, and emerge as the ultimate winner. If you also enjoy the whole thing of chasing a girl that’s difficult to get, then you’ll enjoy the experience. However, if you like to keep things simple and less complicated, then either you can tell this to her directly, or see if things turn out in your favor. In fact, the moment she responds after this gap, move on to the next step.
Move on from the texting phase
Now that you know what this whole ‘dating through texts’ is going to bring your way, the next crucial step to take would be to move on to conversations, preferably the ones that take place face-to-face. If you stretch this texting phase for more than 3 days, then you might get zoned as a “text buddy” and not as someone she would pay attention to as a dating prospect.
Make sure that you get more evident in her life. Ask her out for coffee, let her tag it as a date or not. You term it as a meeting to just get to know each other better. Take her to places that are public, and make sure that she enjoys each and every moment with you. Even if it is a laughter-filled coffee conversation, or attending a concert of your or her favorite band, or just a walk in the neighborhood, show her the real you, see the real she, and see if they click. However, all this shall only come to pass if you pass the exam to break her silence!
Give her your piece of mind (optional)
If, irrespective of all your controlled efforts, you still don’t see any possibility of seeing her text coming, then perhaps it would be best to convey her what you really feel about this whole experience, about the silent treatment, about what you thought of her, and all the other things that came along. You needn’t get all dirty and uncensored. Maintain your chivalry and gentleman behavior, plainly let her know that she didn’t turn out to be like you hoped her to be. Irrespective of her being rude, you will maintain the courtesy to let her know that now, you are the one who won’t be texting her anymore. Simple.
Let her be … she ain’t worth the head-scratching!
Please, the last thing we want you to do is to continue being this guy who keeps on bothering her with messages off and on! If she was really, really into you, she would not go into hibernation for such a long time. So, the ultimate thing that you must do is to leave her alone and clear her thoughts from your mind because there are many potential girls out there who can possibly fill that space. Ain’t we right?
Dating is pretty much like a hit-or-miss situation; if you’re lucky, or if it’s meant to be, you end up hitting the jackpot, or else, you have to keep trying your cards. We think these “misses” are quite necessary in life, because without these you can never really learn, or should we say, never groom to become a mature lover. Nonetheless, irrespective of whether she responds to your texts or not, at least this “interaction” with her, will add to your dating experience, which will inevitably be a learning lesson, for sure! All the best.